Disasters of the Kitchen
by Argentum Anubis
Summary: Stark is going to come over for dinner. Peter and May are freaking out over what to make. In which everything goes wrong, but everything still turns out alright.


**Spoiler alert** : Spoilers for _Homecoming_.

 **A/N** : After re-watching the scene with the walnut date loaf, I knew I had to make this story. I had a lot of fun with it, and it turned out as great as I wanted it to. Also, the title was inspired by that show with Gordon Ramsey ("Kitchen Nightmares"). (I don't own that show BTW).

* * *

Aunt May was a wonderful, loving woman, yet she could not cook worth anything. Peter had tried his own hand at cooking a few times before, but it had always ended in disaster. Whether he was almost burning down the kitchen of their apartment or giving himself food poisoning after an attempt at an omelet, it never went well. This is why they were constantly going out to eat, visiting the Chinese restaurant around the block. Peter was on a first name basis with the pizza delivery guy.

So when Tony Stark asked to come over for dinner one night, they were puzzled as to what to make and how to do it.

May, who was already taken aback by the handsome genius, wanted to impress him, but knew she could not do so with her nightmarish cooking skills (even if he had complemented her walnut date loaf).

And Peter was terrified to poison his idol with his own abilities.

So they planned to make something simple: lasagna.

It was good, easy, and with both of them working together, what could go wrong?

Everything did.

They had bought the pasta, sauce, and spices from the grocery store the day before Tony Stark was to come.

The next morning, a Thursday, they put it all together, into a crock pot and let it heat up.

When Peter came home from school, he could smell the spices wafting throughout the apartment. It smelled spicy, but maybe that was how it was supposed to be when it was home-made? He didn't know.

He went to his room to do homework while waiting for Aunt May to come home; she had told him that morning that she was going to be out, shopping for clothes, when he got home.

When she did come home, Peter came out of his room to greet her. While they were telling each other about their days, however, they noticed a strange smell. A burning smell. Panicking, they raced to the kitchen, where the lasagna had started to burn.

Aunt May turned off the crock pot and took off the lid to peer down at the disappointing pasta.

"Well, what do we do now?" Peter exclaimed, beginning to panic. His idol was going to be here at 6:00 and it was 5:40! There was no time to make anything else, but they also couldn't give him nothing.

Aunt May shrugged, chewing at the side of her lip.

To make things worse, there was suddenly a knock at the door of their apartment.

"He must be here early!" whispered May, rushing to her room to change, completely forgetting about the ruined meal.

Peter sighed, going to answer the door.

"Hey there, Pete," greeted the familiar face.

"Hi, Mr. Stark." Peter couldn't face the man, too ashamed that they had messed up the meal so badly.

Tony raised something in his hands. "I brought dinner."

Peter's eyes shot up. Tony was, indeed, clutching a bag with the name of an Italian restaurant printed on it.

"I didn't know if you guys were planning anything…" Tony sniffed the air. "Is something burning?"

Peter shook his head, letting the man in and closing the door behind him. "Not anymore. Boy, am I glad you brought food. You just spared us a meal of crunchy, spicy noodles."

Tony wrinkled his nose.

Aunt May floated out of her room, clad in a brand new, emerald green dress. "Why, hello, Tony," she said, as though she always walked around their apartment in a $90 dress.

"Hello, May," greeted Tony. "I hope you don't mind, but I brought some food for the three of us to share."

"Wonderful!" she exclaimed, trying to pretend that she and Peter hadn't just messed up a lasagna. She glanced at her nephew. "How about you open the windows and let in a breeze," she told him with a pointed glance. "We're having such nice weather today and it would be a shame to miss it."

Peter did as he was told as Tony and May set the table. When all of the windows were open, clearing out the foul odor, he dumped the disgusting pasta dish into the garbage can.

He then joined his aunt and Stark at the table, where they proceeded to have a delightful meal together.

* * *

 **A/N** : I don't usually tell the story; I usually show it. I hope you aren't too upset with the way the perspective of this story worked.

So, I get my not-so-great cooking skills from my mother. She can bake, but does not cook well. And, yes, I really did almost make myself sick after trying to make an omelet... I am not proud of that.

However, what I am proud of is that this is my 50th story up on this site. My goal was to reach 50 stories by the end of this year, but I have reached it way sooner than I predicted. Hooray!

Thank you for reading!


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